"But you look like such a little girl!"

So these are the words that a student said to me this morning in the Teamwork Center when I told her that I used to teach public speaking. "They must not have taken you seriously at ALL!"

I could feel the frustration coming back all over again. That same annoyed feeling I get every time that someone tells me how young I look. Grr. I responded "Yeah, well I am a graduate student. And they did take me seriously. I dressed up a lot more." I said these words confidently, as if she would believe that dressing in a suit and some pearls made me look my age.
I know this is something stupid to get annoyed about, but people tell me this SO often, I get sick of it. Especially when they say it in such an offensive condescending way (who wants to look like a "little girl"?!).

Here's a list of some of the people that have commented on how young I looked -

1. Man on the street while walking my dog. (He swore I was in high school even when I told him I was a graduate student.)

2. Woman doing my manicure. (Stated completely out of the blue: "You look SO young!" And she didn't even mean young for my age, because she didn't' know my age. She just meant I looked young in the generic sense....Which I don't even really understand.)

3. Annoying drunk guy at outdoor concert at PowerPlant in Baltimore. (I admit, I was acting slightly obnoxious, but ONLY because I was imitating one of my friends. He turned to me and said "How old are you? FIFTEEN? Why don't you stop acting like that?" I wanted to punch him in the face.)

4. Brother's friends. (When I went to visit him in CA when I was a senior in college and he was a FRESHMEN, I got introduced to some of his friends who asked what year I was. When I told them I was a senior, they asked what colleges I was applying to and started offering me advice. I had to correct them - I'm applying to graduate school, not undergrad. And I don't need any advice.)

5. Little kid (literally, in 3rd grade) down the street. (This conversation was particularly humiliating. He would not believe that I was older than my 17 year old sister, and kept saying "NO WAY" when I told him I was six years older. I didn't know little kids could have such a strong idea about age!).

OH and my personal favorite:

6. Flight attendants on the way home from California - this one deserves further explanation.

So Meghan and I just went to visit Courtney out at Stanford. We got split up on the flight home and somehow I got seated in the minors row. You know, the kids who are flying alone and have to be monitored by the flight attendants. So, I'm kind of annoyed that I am sitting without my friend, but I wasn't aware of the fact it was a minor's row until...

"Excuse me..."

I take off my headphones. "Yes?"

"Excuse me, honey, but where's your sticker?"

"My sticker?" Clearly, I'm confused.

"Yes, everyone else has their sticker, now what happened to yours? We need to get you another one."

I look around at the other kids and indeed, they do have stickers that proclaim their status as minors.

"Oh...I see. Well, I'm not supposed to be in this row, I'm not a minor. I just got placed here."

She acted as if she didn't even hear me. "No, no we have to find you a sticker." And off she goes.

The other flight attendant, a male, comes to our row and says in a kindergarten teacher voice, "Now, everyone look at me. I found these keys. Are these your keys? Take a close look. Are these your keys?"

Then he notices, me. "Oh no - where is your sticker?"

"Um, listen, I'm not a minor. I'm not even supposed to be in this row. So I don't have a sticker. And they're not my keys."

"No, you have to be a minor to sit in this row!"

After going back and forth about this, finally, exasperated, I pull out my license and show it to him. "See!? I'm NINETEEN YEARS OLD! Now, will you please stop asking me where my sticker is and leave me ALONE?!"

***

So this morning, years after the flight incident and after being told how young I look time and time again, when a student years younger than me says that I look like such a "little girl" can you see why I get annoyed?

I'm going to be like 30 and going into labor with my first child and then nurses are going to say "Oh, how sad. Another teenage pregnancy. She's so young!" And then I'm really going to have to flip out.

Why won't anyone believe me?

And, I guess more importantly, why do I even care?