Monday, January 31, 2005

Weekend Recap

well we went to see hotel rwanda on friday night. it was really intense. there wasn't even a lot of gore but enough to shed light on what went on. it's incomprehensible really - all those lives lost, all the blood shed, all the hatred.

it makes me feel shameful and guilty for everything i have. it makes me wish there was something i could have done. it makes me wish i could do something now for all the horrible things that are going on around the world, and especially in sudan.

but what can i do? donate money i suppose. put pressure on our representatives to send help and make it a priority. there are a lot of suffering people in the world. with the tsumani, this has become clear once again. when you think that 200,000 (approx) died in the tsunami and how hard that is to comprehend and how the whole world is turning to help southeast asia, and then think of the 800,000 people that died in Rwanda...and who knows how many are dying in the sudan and how little help (if any) was sent there...it just makes me sad. i don't mean to compare two totally different things and make one seem less tragic or anything. i don't know, i'm just sad about it.

and i just don't know what to do.

i definitely feel what jodi has to say in her most recent post. you see things like that, you think about other people's lives and it is really hard to concentrate on these seemingly insignificant things in your life. i mean school is obviously important, but there are so many silly little steps, hoops to jump through and it makes me wonder, is that what we were meant for?

i don't know. i'm feeling a little confused lately and somewhat unable to focus on things. i'm definitely excited about my future and excited about getting married and all of that, but at the same time, i just feel the weight of a lot of other things. hopefully i can manage my time a little better, find a way to make my time meaningful and not just ME focused, and find some time to make some serious progress on all the things in need of my attention.


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