Conflama

Conflama = conflict + drama. Clever term, huh? I didn't make it up.

And there has been a lot of it around me lately. Lots of changes going on in the department, so there's lots of gossip and people whispering about things. Who is doing what? Who got assigned what class? What professor is this person's advisor? What will this person think when they hear such and such? Speculation. Opinions. Frustration.

I know people get more competitive when resources are scarce. Maybe that's part of it lately. I understand wanting to know what's going on with everything, because I'm right there asking those same questions about other people. Wanting to know the inside scoop. Information gives you power....but it also comes with a lot of responsibility.

So now I'm not really happy to have placed myself "in the know" about different things. It's kind of a burden knowing what person is mad at who about what. You have to form an opinion about it. You get wrapped up in things that don't concern you. Let me change the pronoun...I get wrapped up! Then when I find out new info, I feel like you have to decide what to do and who to tell. And if I do tell someone about it, what if I was wrong? Then I'm responsible for passing along faulty info that may end up hurting someone.

Information definitely comes with a price, especially when that info isn't neutral info but usually has a negative slant. It makes me nervous about what other's are saying about me.

So I'm making a commitment to myself to keep things to myself. I'll listen to other people vent if necessary, but I'm going to try to make it stop there.

Where is the line between gossip and venting? Between healthy processing and talking bad about someone?

I feel like I haven't had to deal with this much conflama in a long time...and I don't really like it. But now it's a cycle I don't know how to get out of.

It's easy to bond with someone over common dislike of another person, but it's not really a good basis for a friendship. So, here's to making changes for the better -- in friendships and in life!