The pain of discipline

I know that part of being disciplined about things is doing it when you don't want to. But sometime I wish I had more choices. Theoretically, being disciplined is supposed to give you better results and more choices (maybe?) in the long run, right? Like I have freedom to do whatever I want, but some things I can't do without being disciplined first.

Running the marathon for instance. I had to give up things in the short run (sleep, being lazy) in order to train so that I could finish the marathon 6 months later.

I may not be making sense....but what I'm trying to say is that sometimes its hard to make yourself do things you don't feel like doing. It takes a lot to muster this kind of energy and self-motivation.

Tonight I have to write a paper I have been putting off. It's due first thing tomorrow morning. Anyway, in some ways I am so used to forcing myself to just do things like this. But in other ways, it doesn't matter how much you're "used" to it, "it" doesn't seem to get any easier.

I'm just complaining, I guess, and hoping it's all worth it somehow.