High or Low Expectations?

Do you ever have those debates with others or with yourself when you try to figure out is it better to:
a. have low expectations and be surprised when things go better than planned or
b. have high expectations and be filled with hope that you'll get there

I have a friend who is applying for jobs right now. Getting a job in academia is difficult...and sometimes there just aren't that many positions open for your area of expertise. So when I was talking to her about it the other day, I asked her first choice for a job. She replied that she didn't have a first choice. Only a second choice.

Now, her rationale was that by not having a "first" choice, she was keeping herself from being too excited about that and getting her hopes up that she would get a job there. Maybe part of it functions to save face - if you don't say what your first choice is than it's okay if you don't get a job there. But isn't your second choice just really your first choice?

Anyway, I just think this illustrates that weird mental game we play about our expectations.

Don't you think that sometimes expectations are a self-fulfilling prophesy? I expect this person not to like me, and then they don't. Or I expect this person to say no to whatever I'm asking, and they say NO.

What about our expectations leaks out or translates into how we act and our behavior toward others? If we live life always hoping for the best, does that lead to us acting in a way that will get us to where we want to be?

I have been listening to the 7 habits of highly effective people on my iPod and one thing that Dr. Covey says is that you begin with the end in mind. He has you imagine your funeral and what you want people to say at your eulogy and then work toward that. Apparently this exercise helps to clarify your values and what is important to you so can you act and make decision in harmony with those values.

Well, these are the things swimming around my head lately. If you think this is an interesting topic at all, post and tell me what you think! I am such an extravert...even on a blog I want interaction!