I'm back!

Hello Blog World...

For all of you who have visited this site and found nothing new, I apologize. I promised I'd be back in a few weeks and I didn't come back!

I have been so self-conscious about this blog. I write things and then decide they sound stupid and who would want to read about them anyway. But I decided, who cares? So here it goes.

One thing I've been thinking about lately is dreaming big and the fears that come along with that. I think so many things that we do and we don't do are because of fear. Sometimes it hard to identify what the fear is and sometimes we aren't willing to admit it to ourselves. I am so good at convincing myself of things so that I can stay in my comfort zone. But staying in my comfort zone doesn't help me to grow and it certainly can lead me to be complacent.

One thing I've realized is that everything gets easier with repetition. I used to have such a hard time getting up early. But now that I've been getting up at 6 every morning for the past 10 months, it's easy. I don't even have to think about it anymore. My body starts waking me up at about 5:45 so I don't even need my alarm anymore. I think anything in life is this way -- good or bad. Let's take the good first. If we get used to pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone, pushing ourselves to do something we are afraid of...then the next time it's easier. The next time, that first step won't be so hard. That is exciting to me. Wouldn't you attempt to conquer a challenge if you knew that every time after that would be just a little easier? Wouldn't you be more likely to try new things?

I want to capitalize on that momentum and the ease that comes with repetition and try to build some good habits. Habits like challenging myself, doing things that I'm afraid of...changing my attitude, re-framing situations in a positive way so that I can keep moving foward and not get paralyzed.

And how does this connect to dreaming big? Well, sometimes I feel like I used to have these big dreams and high hopes...and then reality set in. I told myself all the reasons I couldn't do that or told myself that I should be more realistic. But, what am I afraid of? Am I afraid that I'll really be successful? What if my dream came true -- then what would happen? Or what if I failed and never achieved whatever it is that I wanted to achieve? Is that what I'm afraid of?

It's been a year since I ran the marathon now. Last halloween is when I did it. And I think back to when I first considered training for it. I thought 'no way can I ever in a million years run 26.2 miles! I'm crazy for even thinking I might be able to!' But when I saw everyone else doing it, when I saw people who had less evidence than I did that they would be able to make it...then I decided to give it a try. And I doubted myself a lot and told myself it was stupid for me to try to do this. But in the end, I accomplished my goal...I finished that marathon and from now on, I will always be able to say I did that.

So I guess all this is to say that I'm trying to regain that power that comes with a true belief in myself and my abilities. I want to practice changing my attitude, stop giving myself excuses, and start living big.

What about you?