Procrastination

So tonight I made Jesse talk to me about all the potential other career choices I could pursue. I think I was trying to procrastinate and avoid facing my real life and current career path. I decided that I might be good at running a dog rescue or something. Like, I could be one of those people that goes undercover to puppy farms and then frees all the dogs and finds them loving homes.

Or maybe I could be a lifetime coach. I've heard of these people. They act as encouragers and life organizers for other people, trying to help them find their passion. The sad thing is I probably wouldn't be good at it because, well, look at my life situation! They wouldn't want to take advice from a person who is so unsure of herself.

Okay, enough of that crazy talk. Obviously, I'm going to finish up my program. But don't you just get those doubts sometimes? Like, maybe you're not really good at the things you thought you were good at? Maybe you've fooled everyone else too and soon they'll realize that you're just a fake? I know it's ridiculous, but really, sometimes you can't reason with yourself.

On another note, I did have a good thanksgiving break (the times I wasn't stressing about GREs or my thesis proposal). I got to see tons and tons of old friends (and meet some new friends too!) and I caught up on sleep.

Geez, the doubts are back...even about this blog! I just re-read what I wrote and thought to myself, "Oh, I shouldn't publish this post because it's so dumb. I should really think of something interesting or insightful to say about the world or something bigger than my own little worries."

It's tiring to live in my head sometimes. I can't wait for the semester to be over. Maybe I am not cut out for this grad school thing afterall. Sigh.