Ten days of fun

No matter how bad the last few weeks of teaching were, the past ten days totally make up for it.

Between the high school reunion, going out with old friends, going to Kings Dominion with JS, watching the olympics with other old friends, hanging out with my family, going running, sleeping in late, going to the beach to see college roommates, and basically avoiding school work, I have had an amazingly refreshing time.

I have had some great conversations with people, read some inspiring books and blogs, and been incredibly happy.

So today is definitely a let down, since I am starting work officially today. But I can't help but feel so lucky that I had such a great time the past ten days. I have lots to think about and a lot of fun memories to get me through the difficult times at school.

First, I was struck with how many friends I have that I realize I should keep in touch with more. My mom has always called me a "collector of people" (which I think comes from the description of the ENFP) and I think the description fits perfectly. I love keeping in touch with friends and bringing people together. And sitting in my living room with ten friends that have known me since I was 14 was so comforting and surprisingly comfortable. I kept thinking that even though I don't talk to them all the time, that somehow they still seem to know me so well and get me. That's something I still don't feel like I have here. I guess it takes time. I keep thinking that after one year of high school or one year of college, I didn't feel that close to people. So I have to give things time. But I still get homesick for that ease of being with old friends.

Then it makes me think of JS and how happy I am that he is here now. For good. All of his stuff is moved here, even his bearded dragon named Finn. He totally gets me and he makes me so much happier. I keep wondering what this year will be like. He'll be a 30 second walk away. I won't be teaching. We'll both be taking classes. All these new students are coming in. Things are always changing...and I'm excited and anxious to see what this fall will hold.

This past weekend was interesting. I went to meet my college roommates down the shore in NJ. Little did I know that the house we were staying in is actually the summer residence of fourteen other people. It wasn't as much fun as I was expecting, but it was still good to see everyone.

VBK and I got to have a long car ride together up there though and had some good talks. We wanted to spend the whole day on the beach, but a huge accident on 95 made the 3 hour ride twice as long.

I miss seeing that girl everyday. We became friends the first week of school, freshmen year. She lived down the hall and we were both from Maryland. When all the Philadelphia residents went home for labor day weekend, we stayed in and read each other our History textbook in an effort to get our college career off to a good start. We were great friends from then on and lived together junior and senior year. She is one of the ones who always knows what to say when I'm upset, knows how to ask the questions that cut you to the core and get to the heart of things. We'd be eating crappy dining hall food, and she'd look at me and ask me some incredibly difficult, but insightful question. I always wondered where she came up with them. They always made for interesting conversation. This very serious side of her is a perfect contrast to the silly, outrageously fun side to her. She isn't scared of anything and somehow always manages to get us into clubs free or get guys to buy her drinks or finds a way to convince people of things I would never even attempt. This makes me laugh and also makes me admire her.

And even though that silly, loud laugh was still present this weekend, there is a sadness in her eyes that I recognize all too well. We talked about it a little bit, but I didn't want to press the issue. It's just hard to see someone struggling with something and knowing how hard it is. Knowing that no matter what road they choose, it won't be easy. So, I am hoping that I can figure out that perfect balance of being a good friend without being too pushy. Offering just the right amount of listening and talking.

I also got to see CS - an awesome, spunky, fearless girl who makes me laugh like no other. My favorite memory of her from this weekend, which I think perfectly illustrates her personality, is when we were walking home from this bar on Friday night. She's walking a little ahead of us, with her classic athletic strut, and every person we passed on the street, she just put up her hands and said "high five." It wasn't really a question or a command, but every single person complied. And smiled about it. If there were two people walking, she walked in between them, putting up her hands on either side so they could both get her at the same time. I think she high fived 30 people walking home. It was hilarious. Just making little connections with strangers. Not a handshake or asking them to stop and chat. Just a high five in passing. A little "whatsup" without words. Classic.

And then there's HR, who brought her partner. This stirred up mixed feelings with me. I kind of just wanted it to be the four of us roommates. But it ended up being fun and just fine. We got to know her partner, JC, a little better and got to see how happy HR really is. But hanging out with them all weekend made me see how difficult it must be to live out a lesbian lifestyle everyday and endure the staring and the comments and the whispers. It made me upset and it made me feel torn. Do I want to be associated with these people that everyone else is shunning? A big part of me did. But part of me, I was surprised to find, just wanted to fit in with the crowd and not be pointed out as being with them. Although I have gay friends, it was a unique situation to be at bar that was so obviously filled with heterosexual college students and see their reactions to my friends.

Despite all that, HR does seem incredibly happy and I'm glad that she's found someone she loves.

So now that week of connecting with past people is over. It felt kind of like revisiting myself at all those stages in life. A little reminder of where I've been that I think is helping me realize where I'm going.